I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I checked into jail on foursquare
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
