We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
