East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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