fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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