Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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