If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
ttyl tear gas
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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