Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
