Small penises have feelings too.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
