it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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