I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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