I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
