the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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