On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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