Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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