Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
try to milk me bitch
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