she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize