But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
