Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize