wanna go halves on a baby?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
