I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
third nipple confirmed
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
