we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
