How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
