it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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