onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
