I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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