Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
