yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
