Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
