her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
