if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
