Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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