you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
