Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
