Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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