lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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