I love black thongs
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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