why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
