Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
