Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize