Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Terrible idea I love it
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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