So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
