What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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