I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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