That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
