I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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