my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
