I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
