For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
