i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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