dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize