i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
