well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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