I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize