doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He passed out mid-signature
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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