If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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