i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
