I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
