well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
