my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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