My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
