No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
