How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
