you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
