And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
