she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
