Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
