I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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