I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
