bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I want her autograph on my taint
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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