You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So many bounce houses so little time
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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