i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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