i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
