i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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