she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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